Happiness Follows Established Tracks

The hot spot. In the right place. Ready and waiting. The cute furry canine's lying in wait with her ears pricked and nose rapidly sniffing the air. With her eyes dilated and focused, she knows it's only a matter of time. Which fortifies her stay. Motivated by her lack of milk, she must succeed so she can feed her hungry pups waiting on her return. So she lays in wait.

In those circumstances, many wonder why she's laying there. Some would insist she gets up and goes hunting. But the bitch is smart. She knows this track is used by her prey. So why waste energy searching?

Because the Proven Track Often Provides Success

As each generation matures, one by one, they're drawn to experiencing more feelings of joy and euphoria. Some get addicted to the buzz. When we were young happiness came quite easily. The smallest thing could get us hyped. It was somewhat natural. Out of our control. And then something changed. We began to pursue things that made us happy. We search for happiness.

For this reason, throughout time many ideas surrounding happiness have become folk law. People develop beliefs. To this day, concepts of how to increase your happiness are created and spread. Although, many are formed on "shaky" ground, and yet we buy them in the hope they will get us closer to being a happier person.

Who needs Hope on a Proven Track

The wild dog, lying in wait, is not dreaming about dinner coming along. She knows it will come. Over 400 million years has developed established strategies. So she follows her instincts to find a used path. Her advantage is there are no voices in her head questioning and doubting and causing conflict.

Here's the beginning of the problem in our pursuit of happiness. We consider ourselves less animal than we actually are. Some say we won't be truly happy until we realise we're just now taking a step out of the jungle. Multi-million years of animal function keeping us alive has not simply disappeared. It's still there and the new you is simply interpreting and attempting to take over the controls.

Therefore, we're subject to conflict. Your new conscious and animal subconscious can pull in different directions. You might agree with the logical course but follow another. As many do and find it difficult understand why.

Our new abilities are not in charge. With just half a million years in development, they are not in control. The original animal judgment with intuition connected to motivations and reward centres control 99% of what goes on. The new logic and reasoning control a mere 1%. That's probably a good thing because our new consciousness takes effort and it's slow.

However, if the animal within is making bad decisions, so much so that your happiness is being reduced, you can change your automatic behaviours.

There's nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.

Sometimes I feel like letting the mammal have complete power. It might be better than listening to all the words in my head. Plus, I can block the outside voices too because all this thinking just confuses me. I mean, people dish out "psychology truths" they believe will help us. In contrast, they might help ease pain at that moment in time. You might be able to comfort yourself for a while. You may go on to believing it yourself....

...However, I struggled with one of the most common ideas repeated throughout society. I can see how it might work. It could help to prevent the green-eyed monster from showing her face. But is it such a bad thing? And can it actually bring you happiness?

Again, there's conflict. Most lifestyle and psych gurus ask us to reject material things, despite this, retail therapy makes me happy.

"Ha," I hear an interruption... "It's not lasting happiness."

Popular psychology wants us to believe money can't buy happiness. A smart Alec's response is "but it makes it a whole lot easier!"

At this point, it gets deep. Now I know buying things won't bring eternal pleasure but it can heat up the gauge as long as there are no negative consequences like debt and weight gain.

Let's be honest, we place value in things, and owning them makes us happier. An initial boost of bliss and entertainment comes from the experience and then it slowly falls. Afterwards, we can return to that thing for memories that again spike pleasure. So the popular psych mantras "happiness doesn't come from outside" and "Life is what you make it" doesn't seem to be strictly true.

With that in mind, I have no intention of joining a monastery in the foothills of the Himalayan mountains. While I'm sure many have found peace and tranquillity with that lifestyle, it's not for the rest of us. It wouldn't make me happy. Detaching an object's value by claiming it unreal seems to clash with human nature. OK, humanity might be relatively new and only a small part of us, nevertheless, it has got us this far... the best to walk this earth.

Money makes the world go round?

Indeed, trade has brought us closer together. One group trading with the next. One village with another. And a nation with the world. Wealth is created. It increases the standard of living, which contributes to happiness. It is clear and visible in poor countries. Even in industrialised countries, a positive relationship between income and happiness has been shown. Ed Diener, professor of psychology at the Universities of Utah, Virginia, and Illinois revealed this fairly small relationship. He shows us rich people are happier than middle classes and they are happier than the poor.

For the fact that money does bring some happiness, it is believed to be because it increases self-esteem. As you generate success and the wealth that follows, your self-worth increases too. Plus, money is a measurement of success so you feel good about having it.

Actually, that's what you're chasing, isn't it? To feel good about yourself. The ultimate reason why. It may not just come from material things, that's why we are often told...

Happiness comes from Within

Often, this idea suggests you reject the effects of the outside world and all it brings to your life. Good and bad. Instead, focus on your internal happiness. There's a notion to insulate yourself from the ups and downs of life. Alternatively, you should work on the inside. However, Jonathan Haidt, a social psychologist and Professor at New York University's Stern School of Business, says this idea "undersells the value of engaging passionately with the world and suffering when you lose and rejoicing when you win".

Imagine this, we're all living with the ora of a monk. You go to work where everybody has internal joy and calmness. At a social gathering, the place is alive with wisdom. The impact from external events is like water off a duck's back. It's unlikely. Currently unnatural. Life teaches us so much. And we should embrace and take it for a ride.

To put it another way, some happiness comes from within. You can increase your happiness via both internal and external approaches. 

Above all, you can...

...Lose yourself to become part of the puzzle

Upon creation of the internet, many believed it would bring us closer together. The barriers that divided us would disintegrate. You could communicate and share with anybody anywhere on the planet. Distance would no longer separate us. All of the ways we isolate ourselves and the communities we belonged to would disappear. However...

...in reality, we are just as detached as ever before. All we've done is use this new tool to connect with people similar to us, with people that believe what we believe. We continue to operate in the same way we've always interacted. And this makes us happy.

With the numerous ways we identify ourselves, this enables us to recognise these traits and beliefs and views in other people. From there, similar people come together and lose themselves in the group. The group becomes bigger than any individual and it is in our best interest to cooperate in order to succeed. And when we have competition, it makes us really cooperative within our group so we can compete.

Under the right circumstances, we have the ability to forget our self-interests and lose ourselves in something larger because the motivation to dedicate ourselves to something greater is happiness.

Multiple Ways to Manipulate Happiness

You can manipulate overall happiness. There are steps you can take that make the process as easy as possible. Although, some techniques can manipulate happiness more than others. And yet, most do not focus on any of them. The few that do will increase their sense of happiness.

First of all, you must define what kind of happiness you wish to achieve. Obviously, to feel good about yourself is the ultimate feeling. Nevertheless, focus on the step before and how you get there because contentment and tranquillity and enlightenment brings happiness through techniques better suited to older generations.

Whereas, the concept and definition of happiness by youth can be very shallow. They often chase feelings and moments of joy and excitement and euphoria. While peace and serenity can be achieved by exploring the rollercoaster of emotions love and despair, and success and failure can teach. An experience of life.

First of all, understand what it is you are trying to achieve and ask yourself:

How happy am I between 1 and 10 with 10 being ecstatic?

Most people tend to score between 6 and 7. But bear in mind, nature sets your base level of happiness. This has been shown in twins that were separated at birth. Although happiness is somewhat flexible, still, it is inherited because you naturally have a certain balance of approach or avoidance motivations that are defined by your genes.

Now, if you want...

...to change your subconscious behaviour, you have to train the animal...

...the automatic behaviour. You can do it the easiest way possible. The stimulating way. With gradual change. For example, to train a wild animal, dog, or child, you can't just make a resolution, you have to develop new habits which can take a few months. By continuing to form new habits over time they will begin to become part of you.

In order to help this new habit to become part of you, it is best to reward yourself instantly to help make the habit stick. If it feels like a punishment or is surrounded by negative emotions it is unlikely to last.

Some of the most effective ways to change habits are cognitive behavioural therapy, meditation, and self-hypnosis. You can improve your mental hygiene by engaging in some mood-boosting material; books, audio, videos... Simply devouring the content can increase happiness, admittedly, you don't have to do the exercises.

By way of contrast, training your subconscious is quite difficult to achieve. It takes time and dedication but it can be done. Whereas changing your environment so you end up doing the things that make you happy, provides a more achievable method for increased happiness.

If you've ever gone on a diet and taken the rules seriously, then you'll know, one of the things they have us do is throw out all of the junk and restricted foods. Clear your fridge, your cupboards, your bedside drawers of chocolates and the crisps from under the bed... clearing your environment helps to keep you on the right track. Additionally, it is about...

...Creating a Positive Environment

Simply removing stimulating junk and going on a bland diet rarely works in the long term. Diets make people irritable because they're fighting all evolved systems to maintain weight. They're also suppressing needs. And become boring talking about the diet all the time. However, exercise's natural chemical reaction improves mood.

For a way of contrast, deciding to go power walking or jogging or sprint training is unlikely to become part of your weekly routine if you jump on a treadmill, but if you join friends and make the event social there's a better chance you'll stick with it.

I mean, your environment really does contribute to your well-being. There are many things you can change, avoid, and control, including people; the people around you, affect your happiness. While we already know similar people are attracted to each other, therefore, happy people are drawn together, plus, happiness is contagious. So get amongst happy people to feel the joy.

Relationships are the Key to Happiness

Particularly, balancing the relationship between the conscious you and your subconscious. That means, don't try ruling your animal, instead, understand your mind and work both conscious and subconscious together. Plus, feed existing relationships and encourage new ones. Also, cultivate and maintain relationships in work and social environments. Become part of different groups and lose yourself in something greater than you because the joy received can last for years which can change your view of the world.

Overall, happiness is said to be based on your biological set point, plus the conditions you live, being your environment and relationships and control, plus the activities and hobbies you get involved in.

So now ask yourself: What are your strengths? How can you use them to get around your weaknesses? And which area(s) are you going to focus on to improve.

Above all, increasing happiness is likely to make you more successful, have more friends, live longer, recover faster and grow. Happy people take the opportunities that present themselves, which contributes to their happiness. And because they are more accepting and optimistic and by being happy they change their relationships. They tend to be more forgiving too. 

Lastly, simply because of our gender, we are more likely to feel more waves of depression and happiness. So, working on ways to make yourself happy can help drag you out of depression when it takes hold. The less time there the better.