New Relationship with Universal Flirting Signals

Singal ladies... listen up... because you're going to bag a hottie. Right now, we are heading into the festive party season. Social events will be lining up one after the other leading up to Christmas. And then, you could be unwrapping a big present when you follow common, yet proven, moves.

To be clear, I'm not teaching you how to Dougie. Or dutty wine. Or any of the extraordinary Strictly moves. Actually, these are the signs you'll need when you're in a familiar situation that often throws us. When you're questioning and looking for clarity, these universal signs will tell you their intentions and help you make yours clear too.

Because, today, life has made it a whole lot easier getting a date... swipe left or right and you're on your way. However, you still have to physically interact with a person and be able to read the signals and send some out to get what you want. Technology's a damning bonus. What you gain with ease hinders fleshy interactions.

Now we have to learn how to communicate on many levels

Imagine this typical scenario - you're out partying with friends. In a busy bar meeting friends of friends and trying to remember their names. And a bloke you've just met continues the conversation. He's talking and makes a joke. You laugh just a little. You talk some more. And find yourself gazing into his eyes just a little longer than normal. He's attractive. Has a sense of humour. Someone you wouldn't mind getting to know better. And then you ask the question...

...Does he like me or just being friendly... is he flirting with me?

It's the question that throws us off. As a result of constant human contact, sometimes we can instinctively feel a spark and go with it. Although, the sparks energy can be, well, a little weak and we find ourselves questioning and looking for signs... if only we knew what we're looking for.

In fact, there are people studying our social interactions. Jean Smith is one that focuses on flirting... a flirtologist. She's studied flirting behaviour across the world and found six common flirting signals. Therefore, you can learn them and raise them high as a flag. Flag him down. Plus, you'll be able to see their delicately suggestive waving too.

The truth be told, we spend so much time getting ready to go out. We want to look good so we can feel great. We give ourselves a confidence boost. And yet, spending time flirting and reading the signal would add to your effectiveness. They say looks will only get you so far. According to Dr Monica Moore's psychology research at Webster University, flirting is more effective than looks. She says "it's not the most physically appealing people who get approached, but the ones who signal their availability and confidence through basic flirting techniques".

For instance, Jean Smith presents us with a HOT APE. Not Tarzan, but an acronym for the six signs of flirting.

H.O.T. A.P.E - The Science of Flirting

For you to capture and to be a Hot Ape, take note of Jean Smith's TED Talk. Have some fun and flirt with these 6 universal signals.

Humour - It's often said that you can laugh them into bed. A bold claim, not every comedian would agree with. The reality is, we're attracted to people with a similar sense of humour. And the strange thing is cheesy pickup lines work on men. So feel free to signal your interest with lines like this one... "Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Cause you have a pretty sweet ass !"

Not surprisingly, cringe lines repel us, however, men prefer women to be more direct, so they love them. Ain't that funny, we both demonstrate what we want from each other and yet neither of us actually gets it. Consequently, feel free to be direct with your humorous intentions.

Open Body Language - Much of our bodily movement is automatic. Instinctive and comforting. Although, sometimes we have to take notice of the signals we're emitting. Above all, stop yourself from closing your body. Do not put a barrier up... Don't fold your arms. Unless you've just bashed your elbow, there's no reason to fold your arms. And whatever reason you give is nonsense. If you're truly cold but want a fella, you've got to fake being hot. Open up your body. Shoulders back and head held high. This signals that you're approachable.

Once you're in a conversation take note of the body language. Look at their shoulders. Are they facing you? If so, great. Are your shoulders facing them or are you giving the cold shoulder? And check out their shoes... but try not to judge. I know it's hard but that's not what we're looking for. Actually, we're looking at the direction. Are they facing you or are they planning an escape? Feet pointing towards you is a signal that he wants to get closer to you.

Touch - This is possibly the most powerful signal. You'll know exactly where the encounter is heading. But with everything that's going on at the moment, some being overly sensitive, it's always best to play it safe. With that in mind, don't put yourself in a situation where you're blameable. Start safe. You can bank on a gentle touch on the shoulder not being inappropriate. On the back, between the shoulder blades is another. Then you can move further down the arm and to the hand. And it always helps if your touch accompanies a compliment.

With touch, you can get out of the friends' zone... you'll instantly know the situation. And if it's not positive then you can move on... Ain't nobody got time for that!

Attention - There are two sides to this one... the obvious is the more attention someone is giving you, the more they like you. The difficult part is to master being able to observe the reactions of your flirting. Therefore, if you told them a joke or touched their hand, how did they respond? Did they laugh or blush? Now your attention is on them and not all on yourself. It can take some practice. So, try to be more aware of the reactions and responses people display all the time. Then you'll be more comfortable reading signals while flirting.

Proximity - You notice someone... they notice you... the next thing you know, they're next to you. A coincidence? Not at all. It means that they think you look nice from afar and desire a closer look. Another way proximity is used is when you're chatting and they are closer than normal. Either, you're attracted or they're in your space.

Eye Contact - Across the world, people understand this behaviour above all others. Mix it with a smile and you have the number one way that people understand when someone flirting with them. To communicate your romantic interest, flirt with your eyes. Get eye contact more often. Hold it for longer and feel the intensity. Then you'll both begin to recognise where this encounter's going.

Also, throw in a few hair flicks or play with your hair and lick your lips... especially if you feel a natural response to his moves. Plus, speak smoothly while being a HOT APE.

Have some fun. Be safe. And best of luck.